The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?” The husband looked over and nodded. “Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I
Top 10 signs you bought a bad christmas tree:10. Two feet tall, forty feet wide9. Salesman’s opening line: “You’re not a cop, are you?”8. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into it7. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.”Yes,” he said. “I do. My father taught me.” “Good. What comes after three.” “Four,” answers the boy.”What comes after six?” “Seven.””Very good,” says the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?””A Jack.”
|As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, “I can’t find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it’s due to drinking.””In that case,” said the patient, “I’ll come back when you’re sober”
You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’oeuvre.
Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple wakes up. Woman: “Quick! My husband is back!” Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think: “Shit! But I am the husband!”
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual trip.As he pulled his favorite pair of red pants on, they ripped. So, he had to take them off and put on another pair, which was a bit too tight. He then went to check on the rest of