A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?” The man gets really indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but
QUESTION: Why should a honeymoon only be six days? ANSWER: Because seven days makes a whole week.
Temperatures60 degrees – Californians put their sweaters on. 50 degrees – Miami residents turn on the heat. 45 degrees – Vermont residents go to outdoor concert. 40 degrees – You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming. 35 degrees – Italians cars don’t start. 32 degrees –
A – Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.B – BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.C – COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.D – DATE: Infrequent outings
AUDIAccelerates Under Demonic InfluenceAlways Unsafe Designs ImplementedAll Un-informed Drivers InsultedAll Unnecessary Devices Installed BMWBig Money WorksBought My WifeBrutal Money Waster BUICKBig Ugly Indestructable Car Killer CHEVROLETCan Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time DODGEDumb Old Dirty Gas EaterDrips Oil, Drops
QUESTION: What is honeymoon? ANSWER: That brief span of time between, “I do” and “You’d better!”
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?A: 30 – 1 to make the batter and 29 to peel the smarties.