A woman goes into her lawyers office requesting a divorce. He istaking all of her background information and asks her, “Do you havegrounds for a divorce?”To which she replies, “Well, we have three acres.””No, ma’am. What I mean is, does he beat you up?” asks the attorney.”No, I get up
If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?You’d make a lovely corpse!I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?You’re a
|There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and
Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead…Why’d the other monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead too…Why’d the third monkey fall outta the tree?peer pressure…
The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men. It wasn’t until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bartender asksthe man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chainaround?The man answered ” HEY!! you ever tried pushing one of thesethings!!”
The couple were leaving the cocktail party, where the husband, slightly flushed, had been the life of the party.”John,” she said, “did anyone ever tell you how fascinating, how romantic, and how handsome you are?””No,” the man replied happily, looking at his wife, “I don’t think anyone ever did?””Well,” she