|Twas the night before crisis,And all through the house,Not a program was working,Not even a browse.Programmers were wrung out,Too mindless to care,Knowing chances of cutoverHadn’t a prayer.The users were nestledAll snug in their beds,While visions of inquiriesDanced in their heads.When out in the lobbyThere arose such a clatter,That I sprang
My wife rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her. “Excuse me,” she said, “I’m in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?” The clerk turned, stared
Do you know why the Texas Aggies use artificial turf in their footballstadium?It helps stop their cheerleaders from grazing!
IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER – -Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER’s great,But. . . there are problems that can’t wait!Now Benton’s fine, and Carter too,But Ross and Susan just won’t do!Now who do you think that we should hire,Since both of them today I’ll fire?Mark:
|Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot.Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot after offering you a blindfold and a last cigarrette.BASIC (interpreted): You shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol until your leg is waterlogged and rots off.BASIC (compiled): You shoot yourself in the
Two old men were sat on a bench outside a nursing home having a chat. “How are you, Richard?” asked George. “I’m not feeling too good today, I’m utterly exhausted,” replied Richard. “I’ve pulled a muscle, and it’s killing me.” “I’m surprised that a pulled muscle makes you feel so
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeastinfection. He was 71. Known to friends as “Brown-n-Serve,” Fresh was anavid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largestfuneral ceremonies in recent years.Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, theCalifornia Raisins, Hungry Jack,