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Mom’s Dictionary

Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to become romantic again.Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t fully appreciate the strained carrots.Full Name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.Independent: What we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.