|`You seem to be in some distress,’ said the kindly judge to the witness. `Is anything the matter?’`Well, your Honour,’ said the witness, `I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.’
Category: Lawyer Jokes
Total 140 Posts
|One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe, no-nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair, unaware that its rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. “Will you state your name?” asked the district attorney. Tilting back in
|Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan’s well-oiled economic machine. It’s only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail.What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it’s something much more economically
|NO ZAMBODIANS, PLEASE: Judge Rules Out Prince Mongo’s CostumeMEMPHIS, Tenn. – A judge has ruled that a defendant can’t show up for trial wearing fur, bones, goggles and pale green body paint, even if he is from the planet Zambodia.But an attorney for the man who calls himself Prince Mongo
|How to Argue Effectively I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me. You too
|Lawyer: “Judge, I wish to appeal my client?s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence.”Judge: “And what is the nature of the new evidence?”Lawyer: “Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left.”
|A Brooklyn lawyer, a used car salesman and a banker were gathered by a coffin containing the body of an old friend. In his grief, one of the three said, “In my family, we have a custom of giving the dead some money, so they?ll have something to spend over