How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’d rather keep their clients in the dark.

You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice.

In the construction field, it is often noted that lawyers make the worst clients. However, a couple of years ago I met an old carpenter that said lawyers were always his favorite clients! When I asked him why he got so much pleasure out of having lawyers as clients he

If you laid all the lawyers in the world head to foot around the Equator, then… Hey, come to think of it, that’s not a bad idea.

If I had but one life to give for my country, it would be a lawyer’s.

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?