|A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived,
Category: Lawyer Jokes
Total 140 Posts
|Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?”Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I?m beginning to think I didn?t.”
|The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.1. The lab assistants were becoming very
|A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:”Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up
|A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule.”Alright,” the lawyer says looking through his papers. “You owe me $1000 down and $417.58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months.”What! That sounds like a car payment schedule,” retorted the client.”Your right. It’s mine.”
|A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer. “Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. “In this state,
|A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth,