|There was an old man whose family could no longer afford to take care of him. So the family decided that a nusring for the aged would be appropriate. Of course the old man rejected the idea, but no sooner he was convinced that it was the right thing to
Category: Elderly Jokes
Total 84 Posts
|Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, “Fellas, I got real problems. I’m seventy years old. Every morning at seven o’clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of
|We’re over the hill but don’t feel sadThis side of the hill ain’t all that bad.So give us “five” and then a smileTo us who have been here for awhile.With by-pass pain and mended hipAnd plumbing fixtures prone to drip;We all may seem a sorry lot,But we rejoice for what
|I’ve sure gotten old. I’ve had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation,
|A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked.She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
|A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.””I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire
|In the dim and distant pastWhen life’s tempo wasn’t so fast,Grandma used to rock and knit,Crochet, tat and baby sit.When the kids were in a jam,They could always call on Gram.But today she’s in the gymExercising to keep slim.She’s checking the web or surfing the net,Sending some e-mail or placing