|Worried because they hadn’t heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, “Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?”A few minutes later, Timmy returned.”Well,” asked Mrs. Silver, “is she all right?””She’s fine, except that she’s
Category: Elderly Jokes
Total 84 Posts
|Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it,
|I am a senior citizen…- I’m the life of the party… even when it lasts ’till 8pm.- I’m very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.- I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I’m going.- I’m good on a trip for at least an hour
|Thought I’d let my doctor check me,’Cause I didn’t feel quite right. . .All those aches and pains annoyed meAnd I couldn’t sleep at night.He could find no real disorderBut he wouldn’t let it rest.What with Medicare and Blue Cross,We would do a couple tests.To the hospital he sent meThough
|There’s quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,And life doesn’t begin at 40. That’s a big fat lie.My hair’s getting thinner, my body is not;The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.I smell of Vick’s-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5;My new pacemaker’s all that keeps me
|How do I know that my youth is all spent?Well, my get up and go has got up and went.But in spite of it all I am able to grinwhen I recall where my get up has been.Old age is golden-so I’ve heard it said-but sometimes I wonder when I
|A story I’ll tell of a burglar boldWho started to rob a house;He opened the window, and then crept inAs quiet as a mouse.He looked around for a place to hide,’Till the folks were all asleep,Then said he, “With their moneyI’ll take a quiet sneak.”So under the bed the burglar