A man takes his dog for a walk in the park. While he’s there, he runs in to his old friend. The two men stop to talk and the dog just plops right down and starts licking his balls. The friend sees this and says, “Man, I sure wish I

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and noone is there. He looks all around and he finally sees alittle snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up andthrows it across the street into a field.Ten years go by, and one day he hears

Some cows view each day as the last roundup,others, merely as another opportunity to stampede.Most cows view the new day as an exciting new opportunityto eat grass and point in the same direction as the other cows.

During an auction of exotic pets, a woman who had placeda winning bid told the auctioneer, “I’m paying a fortunefor that parrot. I hope he talks as well as you say hedoes.””I guarantee it, madam,” replied the auctioneer. “Who doyou think was bidding against you?”

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he noticesthat the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stopsat the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a

Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A. Two. But I have no idea how they get in there.