A preacher was completing
a temperance
sermon: with great
expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the
world, I’d
take it and throw it into the river.”

With even
greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine
in the world,
I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

And then finally, he
said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the
world, I’d take it and
throw it into the river.” He sat down.

The song leader then stood
very cautiously and announced with
a smile, “For our closing song,
let us sing Hymn # 365:
“Shall We Gather at the River.”