A
group of goose biologists were meeting
to brainstorm about the migration
tactics of Canada geese. They
were particularly interested in applying
for a $100,000 Federal grant
to investigate the “V” formation of goose
flight. It had been
observed that one side of the “V” is always
longer than the other side.
This group would put together a research
proposal to apply for the
$100,000 grant and hopefully find out why this
happens.

To
start off the discussion, Todd, the Consulting Firm Biologist stands

up and says in typical consultant fashion, “I say we ask for $200,000,

and attempt to model the wind drag coefficients. We can have our

geologists record and map the ground topography and then our staff

meteorologists can predict potential updraft currents. Our internal
CAD
department can then produce 3-d drawings of the predicted wing
tip vortices.
Then, after several years of study, our in-house
publications department
could produce a nice thick report full of
charts and graphs.”

The Senior Research Biologist, a professor
at the local university,
cleared his throat and responded, “No, no!,
That’s not it at all. We
only need $150,000. We can train a group
of domesticated geese to fly in
formations of equal length and then
compare their relative fitness to
wild geese. We can then publish
the results in the Journal of Wildlife
Management.

About
then, the hardworking field biologist stands up and begins
walking for
the door. “Where are you going?” the group asks. “I’m
leaving” he
replies, “I’ve heard enough. No one has to give me $100,000 to

find out that the reason one side of the “V” is longer is simply

because there are more damn geese on that side!”