* If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.* A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.* Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.* For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.* He who hesitates is
Tag: lawyer
Total 139 Posts
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn’t true. “I’m as sober as you are, your honor,” the man claimed.The judge replied, “Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30
Q: Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?A: Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to
It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here? “Sure do,” replied the bartender. “Good,” said the man. “Give me a beer, and I’ll
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in “that’s a shame”)?A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”?A: There was an empty seat.Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?A: An offer you
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch – he couldn’t return to Earth.The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “One million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to
A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase ManhattanBank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young manat the window that she wished to take the 3 million she had in thebag and open an account with the bank. She said that