Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. “So, how’s life been for you?” Ed asked.”Not too good,” Ted replied. “My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my
Tag: dog
Total 254 Posts
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to aneighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensedat the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, “Hey,if your dog stole a roast from
What do frogs eat with their hamburgers? French flies.What do polo players get from spending all afternoon in the saddle?Poloroids.What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?A lawn moo-er.What do you call a dog that is left-handed? A south paw.What do you call a frightened scuba diver?
What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing, it just shuts up.What does Michael Jackson call his “Tickle-me Elmo” doll?Bait.What goes “99 thump 99 thump 99 thump…?”A centipede with a wooden leg.What goes “Tick
How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car? Put him in the front.
A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him scribbling furiously on a notepad.I told him rabies could be cured and he didn’t have to worry about writing a will.He said, “Will, will,… WHAT WILL? I’m making a
A little girl asks her Mom, “May I take the dog for a walk around the block?”Mom says, “No honey, the dog is in heat.””What’s that mean?” asked the child.”Go ask your Father. I think he’s in the garage”.The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, can I