These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. On a New York convalescent home: “For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.” On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.” At a number of military bases: “Restricted to unauthorized personnel.” On a display of “I love you only” Valentine cards: “Now available in multi-packs.” In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.” In a funeral parlor: “Ask about our layaway plan.” In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.” In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store: “15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!” On a shopping mall marquee: “Archery Tournament-Ears pierced”