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Puns by the Pound!

Q: what did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?A: Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blow-job…Q: Did you hear about the queer burglar?A: He couldn’t blow the safe do he went down on the elevator…Q: Why is it so groovy to be a test tube baby?A: Because you get a womb with a view…Q: Why are eggs so frusterated?A: Because they only get laid once, they only get eaten once, and you’ve gotta boil them to get them hard…Q: Where do you get virgin wool?A: From ugly sheep…Q: What did Adam say to Eve?A: Stand back, I don’t know how big this thing gets…Q: Did you hear about the deaf gynecoligist?A: He had to learn how to read ilps…Q: Why are chickens so ugly?A: You’d be ugly too if you had a pecker hanging out your forehead…Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?A: Cause they dont know the words…Q: Where are an elephant’s sex organs?A: In his feet- if he steps on you you’re fucked…Q: How do you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?A: If she farts, her ankles will swell…Q: What’s the ulitmate rejection?A: When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep…Q: How do you know when an elephant’s been fucking in your garage?A: Your Hefty bags are missing…