Polceman: “I’m afraid that I’m going to have to lock you up for the night.” Man: “What’s the charge?” Polceman: “Oh, there’s no charge. It’s all part of the service.
Why do so few men end up in heaven?They never stop to ask for directions.
A blonde was sitting down in a bar one day next to a red-head. Both of them were sitting there having a good time and then the news turned on. The woman reporter shouted out “This just in! A man is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump!”.
The American in Hong Kong was talking to his wife one evening over supper. “Get this…” he chuckled, “That ridiculous janitor of ours claims he’s made love to every woman in the building except one.” “Hmmmmmmmmm,” said his wife, assuming a thoughtful faraway type expression, “must be that stuck-up Mrs.
My horoscope read, “You’re going places and you can’t be stopped.” Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn’t read it.
Teacher: You’ve been e-mailing other pupils that I’m ugly! Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn’t realise you wanted to keep it a secret.
Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead and one’s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, ”Ready! Aim!” Suddenly the brunette yells, ”EARTHQUAKE!!!” Everyone is startled