A stitch in time saves nine. Nine what?Are there any unguided missiles?Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say “Do Not Pass”?How can a stupid person be a smart-ass?Do fat people go skinny-dipping or do they call it fat-dipping?Crime doesn’t pay… does that mean
Mr. John Hinkley St. Elizabeth Hospital Washington D.C. Dear John, Hillary and I just wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country’s new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you
A man was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had anything to say in his defense. “They shouldn’t put up such misleading notices,” said the man. “It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE.”
A woman was having a medical problem – her husband snoring.So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her “suffering.””Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?How do you get the “Keep off the Grass” sign on the grass?How do you get off a non-stop flight?How do you know when you’ve run out of invisible ink?How do you throw away a garbage can?How does
The Perfect Day According To…HER8:45 – Wake up to hugs and kisses9:00 – 5 pounds lighter on the scale9:30 – Light breakfast11:00 – Sunbathe12:30 – Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe1:45 – Shopping2:30 – Run into husband’s ex – notice she’s gained 30lbs.3:00 – Facial, massage, nap7:30 – Candlelight
We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage.When you, the people of the U.S., promise to stop sending usyour old people, we will release your election.