A newlywed bride and groom had been busy at “it” for three days straight.The groom arose early and was reading the paper, thinking it was time to do something else. When his bride woke up, he said, “Honey would you like to see Oliver Twist?”His bride replied, “You show me
|Never squat with yer spurs on. There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman; neither one works. Don’t worry about bitin’ off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think. If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, “I’m getting married.I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes towear.”The other one says, “I’m getting divorced for the same reasons.”
How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb? “Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I’ve just cashed up.”
Q: How many Ethiopians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to change it and two to squabble over who gets to eat the packaging.
What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
“It’s just to hot to wear clothes today,” said Jack as he stepped out of the shower.”Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?””Probably that I married you for your money.”