Show up totally smashed. Be as obnoxious and unruly as possible.When the priest says his little “If anyone know any reason…” ditty, say, “Look at him! Look at her! These people should not reproduce!” or rattle off every mean, nasty thing the ex ever did to you, including that time
|(15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to spit farther than his buddy. His plan was to hurl himself towards a metal guardrail while expectorating, in order to add momentum to his saliva. In a tragic miscalculation, his
A married man thought he would give his wife a birthdaysurprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shoprather intimidated, but the girls took charge to help him. “What color?” they asked. He settled for white. “How much does it cost?” he asked. “Twenty dollars.” “Very good,” he
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions. The reply came back shortly: “Begin vacation as of yesterday.”
Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Polak is there? A: He’s the one with a duck.
Mr Evans was the Chief Accountant of a large manufacturing concern. Every day, on arriving at work, he would unlock the top drawer of his desk, peer at something inside, then close and lock the drawer. He had done this for 25 years. The entire staff was intrigued but no-one
A young man, with a promising career ahead of him, decided to marry a respectable convent girl, untarnished with the sins of contemporary society. After the wedding service, the bridal couple had to drive through the more unsavory areas of the city on the way to the reception.”William, what are