The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. “We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.” “Well, tell me!” the man said. The policeman
Q: Did you hear about the dyslectic agnostic with insomnia?A: He used to lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog.
Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill, but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said: ‘I didn’t think we’d make it!’ Jill replied, ‘Nor did I – what a good thing I kept the brakes on, or we’d have slid all the way back
He does not have a FAT BEER GUT – He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. He is not a CRAP DANCER – He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME – He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. He does not SLEEP AROUND – He is HORIZONTALLY
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE – She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. She is not a BAD COOK – She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE. She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY – She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED. She is not CONCEITED – She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES. She does not
A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: “Please don’t use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob.” He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag
How does a skeleton call her friends? On a telebone.