Caller: Operator! Operator! I don’t know what’s wrong with my phone, but I can’t make long distance calls any longer! Operator: Don’t worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!
A young wildlife biologist got fired from his first real wildlife job. Upon his return home, his parents asked him what happened. “You know what a crew boss is?” he asked. “The one who stands around and watches everyone else work.” “What’s that got to do with it?” they asked.
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained. “He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. He
Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. “Hungry, Seymour?” the Lord asked.”I could eat,” said Seymour.The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it.While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into
Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You’re an ambulance!
How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
Skinny people piss me off! Especially when they say things like, “You know sometimes I forget to eat, now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.” They