A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers,
Policeman: What do you think you’re doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour? Driver: My brakes don’t work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.
An anxious woman goes to her doctor. “Doctor,” she asks nervously, “canyou get pregnant from anal intercourse?””Certainly,” replies the doctor, “Where do you think lawyers come from?”
Policeman: I’ve had my eye on you for some time now. Young Lady: That’s funny. I thought you were arresting me for speeding.
Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies! Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies:Here’s a little story of a man named John A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone It seems one night after gettin’ with the wife She lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife Pecker
Policeman: I suppose you’re going to tell me you weren’t speeding. Motorist: I was speeding all right, but I was testing you to see if you were paying attention.
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.”How did this happen?” the doctor asked. “Well I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied.”Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?””No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and