..Placemats. They only show up when there’s food on the table. ..Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion. ..Bike helmets. They’re good in emergencies but usually just look silly. ..Government bonds. They take so long to mature. ..Copiers. You need them in reproduction but that’s about it.
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: “Jesus is watching you!” Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. “Jesus is
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude”. With that she stripped from her
Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 cucumbers. The guy advises: “Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that’s 150, you’ll get a 25% discount !” The nuns look at each other, and after a prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the
How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls? Collect!
Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To get to the chick across the street!
The Difference between Most Men and REAL Men Real Men..put you on the phone when their mothers call. Most Men..pretend you’re not there when their moms call. Real Men..claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors, driving, and paying for dinner. Most Men..claim to be feminists because they