Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths.
“Dad, can i ask you something?” “Sure! What about?” “You see, I’m already fourteen and…I think it’s just proper that i should own one.” “And what is this ‘one’ you’re referring to?” “Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?” “No.” “My nipples are already prominent and it catches
YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT.
A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel
After accepting an invitation to dance with a rather prematurely balding man a young woman wants to lighten the mood and says, “Honey, God was good to you, gave you a handsome face and room for another one.”
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to theblind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read themenu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previouscustomer, I’ll smell it and