Slow out of the gate. Smarter than the average bear. Smoke doesn’t make it to the top of his chimney. So boring, his dreams have Muzak. So dim, his psychic carries a flashlight. So dumb, blondes tell jokes about him. So dumb, he faxes face up. So dumb, his dog
A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One dayhe has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer.After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to
Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir. Customer: I’m not surprised – hurry up, will you?
Spent a decade on the leading edge of drug experimentation. Still boots to DOS. Still sending messages with his secret decoder ring. Still traumatized from the forest fire in “Bambi”. Stocksy-babes. (A truly vile British-slang insult.) Strong, like bull. Smart, like tractor. Beautiful, like KV-2. (A WWII era Russian tank.)
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting readyto ejaculate, try startling yourself.” That same day the man
The two put together have an IQ over 150. The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead. There she sits, Finite State Automaton at its best. There’s nothing wrong with you that couldn’t be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet. — Woody Allen They must have done a
A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel.He went up to the pimp, and asked him what he had. The pimp showed him a blonde whore for $50, but she wasfar too expensive. The pimp then showed him a brunette for $10, but she wasalso too expensive.