The barber was finishing a haircut on a customer one dayand started to apply some ‘Aftershave Lotion’ around hisears when the customer yelled, “Don’t put that crap on me!My wife says it smells like a French Whorehouse!”Another customer who was waiting replied, “Hey John, youcan put the ‘Aftershave Lotion’ on
Janet came home from school and asked her mother if the aerosol spray in the kitchen was hair lacquer. “No,” said Mom. “It’s glue.” “I thought so,” said Janet. “I wondered why I couldn’t get my hat off today.”
Not an idiot, but plays one in his life. Not as dumb as he looks, but that would be impossible. Not digging in the same ditch with the rest of us. Not done evolving yet. Not enough brain cells for the Prozac to be effective. Not enough brains to get
In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver sawa woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, andcouldn’t bear passing her by. He completed the job for her,and, soaked to the skin, exclaimed jovially, “There, littlelady, that’s done!” “Quiet,” she ordered him. “You’ll wakeup my
Off by one. Off his rocker/trolley. Oil doesn’t reach his dipstick. On permanent leave of absence from his senses. On the batting end of a no-hitter. One bit short of a byte/word. One board short of a porch. One boot stuck in the sand. One bumper/rail short of a bank
A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassinga young girl as she walked by the construction site.She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking.Annoyed the worker yelled “Well you’re an ugly bitch anyway!”The girl turned around and replied “It must be terrible wheneven an ugly bitch won’t give you
One node short of a network. One of the early failures of electroshock therapy. One pane short of a window. One pearl short of a necklace. One prayer short of absolution. One press short of a CAPS LOCK key. (Types all uppercase.) One punch/swing/hit short of a fight. One sentence