Calls people to ask them their phone number. Can be outwitted by a jar of Marshmallow Fluff. Can discern facts and form predictions with the acumen of an economist. Can easily be confused with facts. Can only remember her old passwords. Can only shoot pool with a left-handed cue stick.
Santas DiversionSanta was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman wasawaiting his arrival. She begged him to stay and cuddle with her on the couch.Santa declined, saying “Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents, you know.”Trying again, the lovely young thing removed her clothing down
If the Pilgrims came over on the Mayflower, how did the barbers arrive? On clipper ships.
Couldn’t find his way through a maze even if the rats helped him. Couldn’t hit sand if he fell off a camel. Couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn if he were standing inside. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. Couldn’t think/pee his
A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium full of students onenight. He began to speak in a soft and steady voice over the loud-speakersystem. “Listen to the sound of my voice…”, he kept repeating, “the soundof my voice… every word is a command… the sound of my voice…”
For what person do all men take off their hats? The barber.
Where do blind parrots go for treatment? The Birds Eye counter!