An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made aliving. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000.The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried backhome. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed theolder
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bearwalked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them.The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of runningshoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bearslowly approached them.
How do you make a tame duck wild? Annoy it.
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It’s $5. if you make your own bed.Guest: I’ll make my own bed.Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.
Paddy gets a phone call from Murphy. “Paddy,” says Murphy, “I’ve got a problem.””What’s the matter?” replies Paddy”Oi’ve bought a jigsaw and it’s too hard. None of the pieces fit together, and I can’t find any edges.””What’s the picture of?” asks Paddy”It’s of a big cockerel,” Murphy replies.Paddy says, “Alroight,
A rancher from Central Arizona died and went on to the Great Beyond. As heapproached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with nogreenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, “Howdy Saint Peter. Say, thislooks just like Arizona.” “The gatekeeper replied, “First of all, I’m notSaint Peter…and
The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when apoliceman ran up to help. “My mother-in-law just tried to runme over!” the shaken man told the cop.”The car hit you from behind,” the officer said. “How couldyou tell it was your mother-in-law?””I recognized the laugh!” he replied.