Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies) “Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled… isn’t she adorable?” Friend: “But your kid didn’t smile.” Father: “I was talking about the nurse.”
A department store had to call off its special summer sale in August because of a conflict — its Christmas sale was beginning two days later.
What people travel the most? Romans.
So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, “You’re going to spend eternity with this combo, okay? There’s a bass player named ‘Mingus’ and a pianist named ‘Monk’, and any day now we expect this ‘Blakey’ guy to show up with
“I’ll tell you,” he said, “I’ve learned that arthritis is the cruellest disease.” “Crueller than cancer?” his friend asked. “You bet,” the first codger replied, “It makes every single one of your joints stiff, except the right one.”
This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics.He thinks the neighbor is going to hate him forever, so he takes thedirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it
An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: “How large is the population here?” “Around 1.5 billion” — the guide answers American, After a short pause: “So, what else do you do here?”