How does an octopus go to war ? Well-armed !
My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting. She’s very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch.
Steve, Bob and Jeff are all working on some very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realise they’ll have to inform his wife. Bob says he’s good with this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers
Q. What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A. Wave at her.
The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, “Is this what I pay you for?” The manager replied: “No, sir, this I do free of charge.”
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had