Teacher: “Who built the first American car?” Student: “Me Pilgrims.” Teacher: “The Pilgrims?” Student: “Yeah, they made the Mayflower Compact.”
A panhandler was caught trying to sneak aboard a Princess liner about to embark on a three-day trip to the Bahamas.He was caught by the Purser who threw him off the ship telling him, “Beggars can’t be cruisers.”
Do you know the problem with lawyer jokes?Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and the rest of us don’tthink they’re jokes!
The famous general died and his ashes were to be taken to Arlington National Cemetery. All the air lines were booked and there were no other planes available. Someone came up with the idea of using a helicopter. It arrived at 5:00 A.M.The newspapers reported the incident with the headlines,
Auntie Gladys bought herself a new rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for a spin, but after only half a mile, the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. ‘Oh, Gladys,’ said her friend, ‘you’ve lost your engine!’ ‘Never mind
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.Finally, his big sister had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch. In the middle of lunch the junior partner slaps his forehead.”Damn,” he says. “I forgot to lock the office safe before we left.” His partner replies ” What are you worried about? We’re both here.”