You’re so tired you now answer the phone, “Hell.” Your friends call to ask how you’ve been, and you immediately scream, “Get off my back, jerk!” Your garbage can IS your “in” box. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading.
Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.” If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.” Reply to
At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, “No.” A clerk came over and asked, “May I help you?” “I don’t know,” said the woman. “Do you have any ‘Sorry I laughed at your dick’ cards?”
A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit. It
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, all of you just shut UP!” Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small
Jon was looking for a little “action”. He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac.After six times she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* time Jon told her that