A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. “Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life,” he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.She tells this to her mother, who replies, “Did he say anything about that dead branch they’re hanging on?”
Where do cars get the most flat tires? Where there is a fork in the road.
Stumpy Grider and his Wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy said “Ya know Mahtha, Ah’d like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane”. Every year Martha would say, “Ah know, Stumpy, but that aihplane ride costs ten
The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page picturing several national flags. She pointed to the American flag and asked, “What flag is this?”A little girl called out, “That’s the flag of our country.””Very good,” the teacher said. “And what is the name of our country?”‘Tis of thee,”
Sue reports for jury duty as ordered, and promptly asks to be excused because she believes she’s prejudice. “I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin.” “Sit down,” says the judge. “That’s the prosecuting attorney.”
A teacher in New York City wanted to see how many animals the city kids in her fourth-grade class could identify. She drew a picture of a cow on the blackboard and said, “Who can tell me what this is?” A little girl raised her hand. “Yes, Janie, what do
This particular Wizard worked in a modern factory. Everything was satisfactory except that certain miscreants took advantage of his good nature, and would steal his parking spot.This continued until he put up the following effective sign: This parking space belongs to the Wizard…. Violators will be toad!