1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. 2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot
A man was called to witness that a couple had been making love in apark.The witness: They were fucking your honorThe judge: Could the witness put it in a more Sheakspearian way:The witness: The park was Dark but caused no fear Until tiny sounds came to my ear There was
Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough. Waiter: That wasn’t the crust, that was the pie plate.
Motor Trend never mentioned a “Chevrolet Caca.” Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan. Passenger-side “airbag” is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box. Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty. Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace. Car has spent more time on
This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know whatto do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed upand says, “Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you playwith and put it where I pee!”…So he got his bowling
Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make. Waiter: They are. She couldn’t cook either.
You don’t recall that line from It’s A Wonderful Life saying, “Every time a cash register rings, a customer enjoys never-before year-end savings at Try-N-Save!” Your kid makes a fortune trading in “Elmo futures.” Salad Shooter in hand, Michael Jordan shows up as the honorary “4th wise man” in new