Aspirin makes a great contraceptive. Jhold it between your knees.
A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her? It was a bright, sunny day.
Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read “BEAR LEFT” so they went home.
Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead and one’s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, ”Ready! Aim!” Suddenly the brunette yells, ”EARTHQUAKE!!!” Everyone is startled
What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him??? I didn’t do it on porpoise!!!
There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” The priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.” The young woman said, “Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.”The priest
A city boy was on his first camping trip. He was eating his lunch under a tree when an old-timer came along. ‘It smells like rain,’ he said to the boy. The city boy replied, ‘They said it was lemonade.’