During an Army war game, a commanding officer’sjeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some menlounging around nearby and asked them to helphim get unstuck. “Sorry sir,” said one of the loafers, “but we’vebeen classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’tcontribute in any way.” The C.O. turned
Three men walk into a bar and the barman says, ”If you can sit in my basement for a day I’ll give you free beer forever.” So the first man says, ”Easy. I can do that.” But he walks out after five minutes and says, ”It’s impossible, you got a
Jennifer: Are you coming to my party ? Sandra: No, I ain’t. Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not ain’t. It’s I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming. Sandra: Blimey, ain’t nobody coming ?
A blonde and brunette were walking down the road.The brunette see’s her husband, and he is carrying flowers.The brunette says to the blonde “now I’m going to half to spread my legs!”, and the blonde says “why? don’t you have a vase?”
Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? ***** Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose … it’s how drunk you
The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he’d dreamedof working since a young boy. He was trying to impressthe Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School.The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, “Listen, ‘sir’,it’s real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the
One day, this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.”What’s the matter?” the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t talking