Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties?To find a tight Seal.
Hillary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to find out that she is pregnant. She is furious and can’t believe this has happened.She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone, and immediately begins to berate him, screaming:
|A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman
1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it’s cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don’t we just cuddle? 5. You know they have surgery to fix that. 6. It’s more fun to look at. 7. Make it dance. 8. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like
A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, “Can you loan me two hundred bucks? My wife had a terrible accident.” The stranger says, “If you need two hundred dollars, what are you using to gamble with?” The guy replies, “Oh, I’ve got gambling
Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn’t you feel a hand in your pocket? Professor Yes, but I thought it was mine!
Help Wanted: Telepath.You know where to apply.