|A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO
How Shit HappensIn the Beginning was The PlanAnd then came the AssumptionsAnd the Assumptions were without formAnd the Plan was completely without substanceAnd the darkness was upon the face of the WorkersAnd the Workers spoke amongst themselves, saying”It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh.”And the Workers went unto
During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle. The Sergeant said, “How’d you learn to shoot like that ? Have you ever been in combat before?” “Well suh,” drawled the boy, “To be honest, this is my first public war.”
Phoning the florist to order some flowers for her lover’s funeral, woman was caught off guard when asked what message she wanted on the card. “Message?” she sputtered. “Well, I guess, ‘You will be missed.”‘ Visiting the funeral home, she was pleased that her floral tribute had arrived but mortified
Two pieces of string walk into a bar. The first one walks up to the bar and says, “Barkeep! Give me a beer!”The bartender replies, “Well uh..aren’t you a piece of string?”The piece of string answers, “Yeah!”And the bartender says, “Well get out of here! We don’t serve your kind!”So
The story takes off where Cinderella just got yelled at by her step-mother, then her fairy godmother comes to her aid.The fairy godmother says, “I can make you a new dress and give you everything you need to go to the ball… on two conditions!””Anything, ” says Cinderella, “anything!””Okay the
|The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.”Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is 1 and 1?””11” he replied.The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but