A Doctor made it his regular habit to stop at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the Doctors drink waiting for him at precisely 5:03 PM. One afternoon, as the end of the workday approached, the
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?””None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest would fly away.””Well, the answer
|In prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle. At home you get to clean the yard
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person askeda young engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were youlooking for?”The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, dependingon the benefits package.”The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of5-weeks vacation,
Short-sighted sarge: “Attention! You also, you little one in the back row with the red cap!” “But sarge, that’s a hydrant!” Sarge:”Anyway, in this place academics have to obey as well.”
A man was sitting in the electric chair. The executioner said, “Look, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to throw the switch in a minute.” The man said, “Do me a favor and throw it out the window!”
Ted: Last night my computer died. Ned: What did it die of? Ted: Aterminal illness