GREETING CARDS UNSUCCESSFULLY MARKETED BY HALLMARK1. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! ‘Cause when I got one… I got real snippy.2. I heard you had herpes…and I feel terrible…I’d say “Get well soon”…but I know it’s incurable.3. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at
|SYSTEM CRASH (to the tune of “The Monster Mash”) I was working in the lab, late one nightWhen my eyes beheld an eerie sight,Some smoke from our VAX began to riseAnd suddenly, to my surprise… [chorus](There was a crash) There was a system crash(A mighty crash) I heard the disk
The hillbilly man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The first night the hillbilly anxiously jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready for a little romance.His new bride comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says “Honey, I have something
Sung to the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies”Come and listen to my story ’bout a man named John,A poor ex-marine with little fraction gone,It seems one night after gettin’ with the wife,She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.Penis, that is.Clean Cut. Missed his nuts.Well, the next
|LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (The Times of London)Dear Sir,I am firmly opposed to the spread of microchips either to the home or to the office, We have more than enough of them foisted upon us in public places. They are a disgusting Americanism, and can only result in the farmers
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?”The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None,
A man and his dog are shipwrecked on a desert island. After exploring the island, he discovers that the only other inhabitants on the island are a flock of sheep. After many months he realizes how difficult life is without having a woman by his side. He momentarily considers pleasuring