Waiter, waiter! What’s this creepy crawly thing doing in my dinner? Oh, that one ? he comes here every night.

Waiter, waiter! There’s a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It’s no good, sir, he’s frightened of them, too.

Waiter, waiter! There’s a dead spider in my soup. Yes, ma’am, they can’t stand the boiling water.

Waiter: These are the best eggs we’ve had for years. Diner: Well, bring me some you haven’t had around for that long.

And how did you find your steak sir? Well, quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and there it was

Waiter, your tie is in my soup! That’s all right, sir, it’s not shrinkable.