Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid. Yes, sir. It’s the iceberg lettuce that does it.

CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler? WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.

Sir you haven’t touched your custard. I’m just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline !

Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter ! I can’t do that sir, he’s not had his main course yet !

Waiter, there is a frog in my soup ! Don’t worry sir there isn’t enough there to drown him !