The proud owner of an impressive new clock was showing it off to a friend. ‘This clock,’ he said, ‘will go for 14 days without winding.’ ‘Really?’ replied his friend, ‘And how long will it go if you do wind it ?’
Category: Time jokes
For a weddin’ present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, “W’atcha do with the money, son?” “Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!” answered the boy. “Yew dumb ignoramous!” yelled his father. “Yew should ‘av bought yoreself a rifle!” “A rifle? What fer?”
Customer: I’d like a watch that tells time. Clerk: Don’t you have a watch that tells time? Customer: No, you have to look at it.
If twenty dogs run after one cat, what time is it? Twenty after one.
That boy is so dirty, the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon.
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”
At three o’clock one morning a veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone. “I’m sorry if I woke you,” said a voice at the other end of the line. “That’s all right,” said the vet, “I