Republicans say “Merry Christmas!” Democrats say “Happy Holidays!”

Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play “Cowboys and Indians.” Democrats don’t either, as long as the Indians win.

All our pigs are learning karate. Oh, I don’t believe that No? Well, just watch out for their chops.

Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree. Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices. Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it after New Years.

Democrats’ favorite Christmas carol is “Deck the Halls.” Young Democrat’s favorite Christmas carol is “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” Republican’s favorite Christmas carol is “White Christmas.” Young Republicans’ favorite Christmas carol is “White Christmas.”

Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards. Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.

Democrats wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season. Republicans do too, all year round.