Mike’s grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop. In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent.He asks Mike, “Vat sims to be ze
Category: Miscellaneous
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The Hunchback of Notre Dame croaks so they need to find a new bell-ringer.A guy with no arms comes along and says he can do it.”But you’ve got no arms… you can’t do this job!” says the church leader.The new applicant shouts back – “Sure I can… I’ll do it
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.He says to the clerk, “I’d like to register my new invention. It’s a folding bottle.””OK,” says the clerk. “What do you call it?””A fottle, replies the inventor.””A fottle? That’s a stupid! Can’t you think of something
A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand.The turtle’s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape.The bartender looks at the guy and asks:”What’s wrong with your turtle?””Not a thing,” the
A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for theevening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go atit.When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window,takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side,jumps back into
An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini -“I want to feel your breasts” he exclaimed.”Get away from me, you crazy old man” she replied.”I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars,” he says.”Twenty dollars, are you
George Carlin Speaks Out…I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.I am George Carlin.I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks.I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away