A supply of Viagra was stolen last night, police are looking for two hardened criminals and they can expect stiff sentences when caught!
Category: Miscellaneous
Total 3979 Posts
I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.Jesus paid for our sins… now lets get our money’s worth.Out of my
Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?Multiple Personality — We Three Queens Disoriented AreDementia — I Think I’ll Be Home For ChristmasNarcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)Mania — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and… or Deck the Halls and Spare No ExpensesBorderline
“Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.”If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. “It`s for my husband,” she tells the clerk.”Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk.”Are you kidding?” she says. “He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!”
Random Thoughts:When I die I want to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather; not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.I always try to count my blessings, but I am no good at fractions.War decides not who is right, but who is left.
One day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he