Why can’t girls play hockey?Because they have to change their pads every period!
Category: Miscellaneous
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A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.He opened his newspaper and began reading. After
Little Johnny has a question, so he goes around the house to find his father. He opens his dad’s bedroom door and finds his mom and dad humping away on the bed! “Dad!” says Johnny, “What are you doing!” Johhny’s father stops humping for a second and says “Well, Johnny,
If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?You’d make a lovely corpse!I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?You’re a
A woman goes into her lawyers office requesting a divorce. He istaking all of her background information and asks her, “Do you havegrounds for a divorce?”To which she replies, “Well, we have three acres.””No, ma’am. What I mean is, does he beat you up?” asks the attorney.”No, I get up
The couple were leaving the cocktail party, where the husband, slightly flushed, had been the life of the party.”John,” she said, “did anyone ever tell you how fascinating, how romantic, and how handsome you are?””No,” the man replied happily, looking at his wife, “I don’t think anyone ever did?””Well,” she
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bartender asksthe man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chainaround?The man answered ” HEY!! you ever tried pushing one of thesethings!!”