Real Mothers . . .Real Mothers don’t eat quiche; they don’t have time to makeit.Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.Real Mothers know that dried playdough doesn’t come out of shag carpets.Real Mothers don’t want
Category: Miscellaneous
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A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient’s room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, another patient was in the room, hanging from the ceiling by his feet.
Arbitrator ar’-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s. Avoidable uh-voy’-duh-buhl: What a Italian bullfighter tries to do. Baloney buh-lo’-nee: Where some hemlines fall. Bernadette burn’-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage. Burglarize bur’-gler-ize: What a crook sees with. Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. Eclipse
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following four elements:Religion, Royalty, Sex, and Mystery.The prize-winning essay read: “My God,” said the Queen. “I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?”
Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them.The first guy said, “My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won’t let me do any work around the house. It’s incredible!”The second guy says, “That’s nothing. My wife thinks I’m God!””She thinks
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir!I promised myself that when I got out
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search